The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
