She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
