I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
