i think i have herpe
just one?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
