oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
