Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
