at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
