Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
