Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You have to summon your inner elephant
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
