i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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