two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
