i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
