After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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