so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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