I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
