I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
