I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
