he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
