I want to stick my p in your. b.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
