Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
