You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Randomize
