Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
