You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
