i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
