woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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