i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
