We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
