Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
a search helicopter?!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
