Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
