Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
