checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
