I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
