He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
