Can i not drive my cunt home
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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