You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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