There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
