Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
