Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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