Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
