pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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