Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
