i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
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