So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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