one might say we're banned from that church
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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