Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
