I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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