You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
