I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
