So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
