Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
