people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
